"The Army Is Not A Joke"

"During Basic (Training) we had to go through this 'Self Defense Course.' It was not bad, but very basic. I was joking with my buds at how basic it was, when the master drill instructor caught me talking and laughing.”

“He said ‘Perfect, I found a volunteer to help me demonstrate the advance portion of this class.’"

"I got up on the mound and this guy hit me with such a punch to the gut I keeled over. I had never been hit that hard in all my life!"

"Then the anger took hold and I unleashed on this guy. He was real good, too. He broke my nose and cut my eye real good, but he ended up with a broken arm and a broke jaw for the trouble. I thought I was toast after it was said and done, but instead this guy calls me into his office and offers me a post after basic with the base team. I was blown away."

"That weekend, on pass, the guys and I went out on the town and ended up drunk and in a tattoo place. (Never a good combination.) I ended up getting the word 'Phoenix' tattooed on my arm. 'Phoenix' was a nickname my mom gave me after a few tournaments where I got the snot kicked out of me."

"When we got back to base we were hit with an inspection. After which I found myself, along with my buds, in the jail facing a court martial for the destruction and vandalism of government property. I thought, 'OK, how stupid... this is my body.'

"Oh, no," my JAG lawyer said, "Your body belongs to Uncle Sam."

"I plead guilty and was sentenced to reduced pay and confined to quarters. The offer to join the team for the base was taken away. My two buds plead innocent and were later found guilty, then discharged."

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